Unsettled

I feel very unsettled in my life in a few areas right now. The area that is of great concern for me is "friendship". I have a few that are puzzling to me right now... and a few I need to reconnect with so that I can keep up with the latest and greatest of all those that are important to me. I thought about sending some cards and writing a few letters. Just not sure exactly what to say or how to put it. I don't want to offend anyone or over excite and I not be able to follow through.

Ironically, it's this time every year that I think about things/people that are important to me and just "do away" with those that don't seem beneficial/reciprocal or as meaningful as before. I do realize that people change and shit happens. In my life as well as others. As for friendships, if its meant to be, it will be ok and get better. If it doesn't get better, it cant hurt me or discourage me anymore.

Friends are like family to me. Unfortunately over the last few years, I have gotten closer to some of my family and more distance with some of my friends. I need to search myself for my reasons as to why this is the case.

It saddens me. It will be another loss. For me. And for my child in some aspect. My friends love my daughter and her silly ways. There is a void that I don't want her (or any of them)to experience. There are few things I can protect them from. I feel the void and lack of support/encouragement when needed the most is one void we can all avoid by putting proper standards in place and coping behaviors.

Much to ponder and think on... dont want to do it, but I feel that I have to. :(